Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
