I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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