But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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