Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
