There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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