She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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