I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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