At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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