Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
