dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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