New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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