how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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