What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
