You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
