I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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