do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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