just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
where are you?
Hypothermia
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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