Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i've created a new STD.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
