3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
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