OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
