You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
