I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
