love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
