so explain again why im purple
no
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
