Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
