If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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