perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
