Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
