what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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