So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
