Christians are straight up FREAKS
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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