Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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