I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
