she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think people are normalizing furries
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
