I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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