i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
