smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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