I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
