I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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