She's like a pop up book from hell.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
