Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
