Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
