NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
