Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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