8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
pray to the hookup gods
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
