She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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