Whod you bang
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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