so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
