He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
