apparently the secret to your success is patron
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
