Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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